Hate to Wait | Jessica Gravelle

Do you hate to wait? I know I do. It’s hard to wait and very easy to lose patience in the process. I tend to get impatient when waiting for trivial things like my order at Starbucks or a delayed subway train. But I also struggle with waiting for more significant things like the job promotion I feel I deserve or for depth and intimacy to form within a new group of friends.

And I’m not alone. We live in a culture of convenience marked by instant gratification. Regardless of what it is that we want, we want it NOW.

And if I’m honest, that’s sometimes how I feel in my spiritual life. I want instant healing and instant renewal. No waiting for anything, not even God Himself. No longing. No hoping. No trusting. Just answer my prayer and send me on my way. But that is very much the opposite from what God desires for me and for all of his children. Scripture commands us to wait. Psalm 27 says “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

Time and time again, we see the people of God waiting for Him to act, crying out with great longing and anticipation. Isaiah 40 encourages us, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

I must admit I have been doing a lot of waiting and hoping lately. These past few weeks have been really challenging as I have wrestled with deep feelings of anxiety and despair in the face of life’s demands and a busy schedule. I’ve felt lonely and hopeless in light of hard conversations with my husband and broken relationships with my friends and family. In those moments, I desperately want instant deliverance from my discomfort and I don’t want to wait on the Lord. I’d prefer spontaneous healing and a pair of those eagle’s wings the minute I cry out. In those moments, I don’t trust God’s sweet sovereignty and goodness over my life. I forget that He knows best and that he truly sees down the corridor of time. Even while we wait, He is working in our lives.

And lately, Jesus is showing me that the waiting is the most beautiful part of the process. Because in his loving kindness, he knows that the more I wait, the more I get of Him. I get his presence, his peace and his love in ways that I could never experience if I wasn’t desperately waiting and crying out for Him. He is what my heart was made to long for.

Over these past few weeks, I’ve had to wait on the Lord. And though the waiting is so incredibly hard, Jesus is so faithful. He answers my desperate prayers for deliverance time and time again, and continues to heal my heart in so many ways. When life feels overwhelming, he gives me an unexplainable peace. When I feel like no one can ever know the depth of my wounds from past relationships, He reminds me that He knows and that he is indeed healing every single wound. When I fear rejection and abandonment, he promises me that he will never leave me or forsake me.

Even in my waiting, God is working for my good.  How amazing is this!  I stand on the words of Isaiah 58, “Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’” And he is enough.

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